Das Horn Drinking Vessel



A wise viking once said, “When men meet foes in fight, better is stout heart than sharp sword.” I think it means get wasted before battle.

Found on Amazon

Random Dad Products

Holy Bible Flask

Jesus turned water into booze for a reason. Help your dad get in touch with his spiritual side.

Found on Amazon

Pizza Slicer Fork Set

You’re never going to get your dad to stop eating pizza with a fork. Let him know you’re finally okay with him doing things wrong.

Found on Amazon

Remote Control Mop


I guarantee your dad will use this to chase the dog, but at least the floor will get clean.

Found on Amazon

Portable SNES NES Player

Portable NES SNES Player

Remember when your dad used to kick your ass at Mario Kart? Relive the horror with a portable Nintendo machine.

Found on Amazon

Treadmill Desk

I’m sure there’s a nice way of giving this to your dad without calling him fat… I just don’t know what that would be.

Found on Amazon

Portable Road Trip Grill

Portable Roadtrip Grill

Has your dad ever felt the urge to grill something so bad he drove off the side of the road, crashed, and grilled right there on the burning corpse of his car? Well now he can grill without sacrificing his vehicle!

Found on Amazon

Steampunk Bronze Watch


On second thought, this watch is probably way too sexy for your father. Nah, you should just get him some boring watch instead.

Found on Amazon

Robotic Lawn Mower


Hank Hill would call it asinine, but maybe your dad would enjoy having someone/something else mow his lawn for once.

Found on Amazon

Wine Bottle Combination Lock


Face it, your dad knows you stole half of his booze and watered it down to make it seem full in highschool. Make it up to him with this ingenious invention so it never happens again.

Found on Amazon